Brothers in Grits: "Don't Kid Yourself", Part 1/3

     Hanging here, hanging there I've seen some things you know? (haven't we all) Whether it be a man violently throwing up his meal while simultaneously farting between every dry heave, or somebody down cigarette after cigarette like a fuckin' Amtrak ride cross-country. It ranges. Now I'm sure I'm not the first one to catch this little pattern but I seem to have narrowed down some tendencies of smokers I've observed and I find it funny. Not laugh out loud funny like when you cough and then it's immediately followed by a burp. It has happened and let me tell you...It's pretty absurd. But it's more like when you see someone from a far and they trip and fall but thinks nobody saw them. They keep walking like it's all good, but they know it's not, and you chuckle softly in your head. (to that person who tripped: Don't kid yourself. Stop living a lie.) Their knee may not be fractured but their dignity is.
    Fractured dignity is a hell of a transition to my first group of smokers which I dub the "Don't Kid Yourself" group. It encompasses the everyday smoker who goes traveling the world like a freakin' missionary announcing to the world that smoking no longer interests him/her, and then goes on to name the reasons why the quitting has occurred and the health benefits that everyone and their mother's already knew. Then a close friend comes by and immediately comments on the grits at hand before acknowledging the man with the grits in hand.
     That alone is astonishing. For an interaction to go as follows: "Hey! Are those Camels ya got there? Nice. What's up man?" It's funny how the brain puts the cigarette before the human, much like a man puts his video games in the forefront of his life as compared to his wife/girlfriend.
     Ok, I know what your thinking, "So the man saw a pack of grits, so what?" Now when it is on a day in and day out basis it kind of becomes glaringly obvious, like that girl from Kung-Pow with one breast. Not to mention a certain guarantee to bum a cig, it's like clockwork...without the orange...(See what I did there? I made a funny..)
     See cigs, say hi, bring up small talk, go straight to the point and bum a grit. Might as well punch a time card. It's like living a double life, hence the name "Don't Kid Yourself", because it ain't foolin' nobody.